ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "so random".
You've told the same "so random" story at every party since 2022.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
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