ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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