ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Remember when you stayed up late on purpose?
Now you're up at 3am because your knee filed a complaint.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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