ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A good night out now means home by ten.
Nobody had to come and get you. Nobody offered.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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