ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch.
Quiet budgeting is going anyway, checking your balance in the car and moving retirement to 79.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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