ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see my screen?"
You can. You always will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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