ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 16 MAY 2002
Some days you're the pigeon.
Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who you were either.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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