ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every Monday you swear this week will be different.
You've sworn it nine hundred times. The week stopped listening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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