ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the mortgage.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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