ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every parent has a favourite child.
It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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