ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every relationship has a honeymoon period.
Yours was the walk from the bar to the taxi rank. She got in alone.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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