ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "in your villain era".
You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times. Villains have done less damage at a christening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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