ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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