ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Move fast and break things.
You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your sleep. Series A next.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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