ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Children are a blessing.
They're also why the remote is in the bin and your savings are in the past tense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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