ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The best time to start saving was twenty years ago.
The second-best time was also twenty years ago. You missed both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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