ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch.
Quiet budgeting is going anyway, checking your balance in the car and moving retirement to 79.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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