ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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