ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years.
You're the phase they'll describe to a therapist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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