ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings.
It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing, and lost the person who asked how you were.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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