ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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