ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Rise and grind.
Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a boat.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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