ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Passive income takes a surprising amount of active effort. Mostly explaining it at parties…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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