ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams
than you've had about anything since 2011.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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