ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Make your money work for you.
Yours quit in 2019. It works for your landlord now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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