ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone.
Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do Not Answer".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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