ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said "that's so me" about a horoscope.
It also described 600 million other people and a goldfish.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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