ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Step outside your comfort zone. It's raining out there, everything costs more, and nobody…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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