ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your call is important to us.
Not important enough to answer, but important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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