ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Scale your business.
Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one candle out of pity.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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