ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every relationship has a honeymoon period.
Yours was the walk from the bar to the taxi rank. She got in alone.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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