ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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