ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Treat yourself, they said.
You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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