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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION TUESDAY, 27 DECEMBER 2011
You said "we move".
You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
  2. A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
  3. They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
  4. Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
  5. You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
  6. Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
  7. Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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