ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They say sweat is weakness leaving the body.
Yours has decided to stay.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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