ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 19 DECEMBER 2012
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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