ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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