ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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