ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings.
It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing, and lost the person who asked how you were.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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