ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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