ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- There's no I in team. There are two in "invoice still unpaid". And one…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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