ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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