ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your savings account isn't empty.
It's a memorial.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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