ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Some people run marathons.
You run late, and you still come last.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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