ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every birthday is a gift.
The gift is one fewer birthday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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