ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English.
It will be only Monday every week for the rest of your working life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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