ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 11 MAY 2015
Every company now has an AI assistant.
It's the only member of staff nobody's asked to come in on Fridays, and the only one getting your job.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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