ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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