ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question".
Zack has read your ideas. Zack would like them escorted from the building.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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