ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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